


Villain Vs. Hero

by finlandwrites



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bottom Dan, Dan/Phil - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Superheroes, Top Phil, Violence, a bit of a random ass story for a friend mostly, comedy is a priority here folks, flash science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-11 13:58:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finlandwrites/pseuds/finlandwrites
Summary: Dan Howell, Phase, is Jeppson City's most wanted criminal.Phil Lester, Blade, is Jeppson City's golden boy hero.What happens if they're engaged?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based of a tumblr prompt page from years and years ago.  
> Not based off of that show.  
> I will update when I have the motivation (translation: often)

Phase had a habit of underestimating Blade but Jesus Christ did the bastard have to punch that hard. Phase rubbed his bleeding jaw with his right hand and stumbled to his feet, sending a vibration wave out of his left hand a Blade. The metal superhero was knocked back into the side of the Jeppson City Bank, shattering the windows and sending him toppling over the security counter. Blade groaned, his vision began getting spotty as the concussion took over.

“Aw tapping out already Blade? What kind of hero would you be if a little tumble took you out?” Phase laughed as he stepped through the hole Blade’s body created in the window wall. 

“Oh piss off Phase” Blade rolled over onto his side to avoid a wave from Phase’s vibration powers. He stumbled to his feet, leaning heavily on the marble counter he just smashed into. His right shoulder was covered in glass shards and various other shrapnel that comes with smashing through a window and a marble counter. 

“Oh come on Blade don’t be so harsh on me, you know you love it when I knock you on your ass” Phase sent another vibration wave at Blade but the metal superhero ducked and the counter behind him exploded into bits of oak wood and white marble, a shame really as the counter was very ornate. Blade’s watch chimed and a voice flitted through his earpiece.

“Oi, Phil, if you want to catch that date with Dan early you need to wrap this shit up fast.” Chris, the resident Team Blade Tech-Man, was very good at making sure Phil maintained his affairs with his fiance, Dan. Early means on time as Daniel had a problem with being late as hell. Blade began throwing knives at the black clad super villain, one struck his left clavicle, the second lodged itself in his right thigh and the last ricocheted off him and landed a few feet away. Phase toppled over to the right and pushed himself up against a wall, shoving a stupid fake plant out of his way. He grabbed the lone throwing knife before sliding back out into Blade’s line of fire, another knife whizzing past and lodging itself into the fake plant behind Phase. 

“You know Blade, you aren’t the only one who can throw knives.” Phase launched the steel knife at Blade, knocking the metal man off guard as a blade (irony) stuck itself in between his ribs. Dan was gonna love his explanation of this wound. Phase sent out a small wave of vibrations to topple some books onto Blade, worsening his already level 6 concussion. 

“Knowledge hurts, bitch.” Phase laughed at his own joke and then stomped, sending a shock wave at the treasured hero, knocking him out. The radio in his suit buzzed to life and his best friend, Louise, began to speak.

“Listen Dan you have 4 minutes to get the fuck out of there before the police show up. Plus your date with Phil is in less than an hour and you're bleeding profusely from several open wounds so like hurry the fuck up, man.” The com went silent and Phase dragged himself to his feet.

“Until next time, Blade.”

=================================================================

Phil was late.

Phil was never late.

That man was early to his own damn birth and yet here he was, 15 minutes late with a nasty looking busted lip and a badly bruised temple. He was also limping with a heavy lean on his left leg. He must have “fallen down the stairs again” at the precinct, not that Dan believed him. Of course Phil was going to let his bandaged neck and limp slide as well because they both had dangerous jobs and didn’t care about the others, they cared about each other but not career wise. 

“Well damn babe you are late.”

“Yes Dan thanking you for pointing to the obvious.”

“Work issue?” Dan quirked his brow at Phil, waiting for an answer.

“Work issue.” Phil sighed and tossed himself in a chair, regretting that decision as his thigh wound split open.

“Wine issue or vodka issue?” Dan beted on vodka.

“Definitely vodka honey, definitely vodka.” 

Dan cackled in response as he called for a waiter.

=================================================================


	2. Phase Vs. Dan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The differences of Phase and Dan.
> 
> With some new villians. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! It is I, Six. I bear another chapter.
> 
> I'm getting my wisdom teeth out so don't expect an update anytime soon. Unless i post on before Thrusday!

Blade gets under Phase’s skin. He isn’t cocky like other heroes but he isn’t weak either, he confuses the fuck out of Dan and when Dan gets confused he blows shit up. Louise say’s unhealthy to take his aggression out on a skyscraper. Sure, the building did nothing to Phase and sure, it was extremely prominent to a mayor he didn’t vote for and sure, it was pretty but that’s what makes it fun. Breaking walls and shattering windows is strangely therapeutic, almost comforting in a way, then his ear piece buzzed to life.

“What’s your twenty, Phase? Your therapy session knocked out the security system and I can’t hack something that isn’t running.”

“Third floor East wing, room 302.” 

“Locked, are we collapsing the whole building or just a wing?” Dan could hear her fake nails hitting the keys of her keyboard with rapid fire accuracy.

“Just a wing. Last collapse Blade was too busy helping to fight me and I got bored.” Dan whined dramatically.

“Phase, it was a hospital.” Louise sounded almost sympathetic, almost.

“A hospital in the middle of a renovation, we may be villains but to attack a hospital is evil.” Louise snorted at his choice of words.

“Very true Phase. Okay so, to collapse this wing you’re going to want to- oh shit” Louise’s voiced dropped off the com as she began to type at the speed of goddamn sound.

“Blade’s here.” 

“20 minutes early what a dick.” Louise snorted on the other end.

“He’s in the west wing. You have just enough time to set a bomb and set a detonation before getting the fuck out.” 

“Thanks, Hel. Watch my six?” Phase smiled as he heard Louise sigh.

“Always doofus.” The com went dead. 

Dan waited until he heard Blade running up the flight of stairs before he placed the bomb behind a fake plant, punched in a minute detonation code and ran for a window. Blade threw open the door to the abandoned office, just in time to see Phase break the window while screaming,

“Bon Voyage, bitch.”

=================================================================

Luckily Hel had phoned Anti and the drone wielding villain caught Phase before he hit the ground. Anti wasn’t impressed with his latest stunt. 

“What the actual hell, Phase?” Jack’s Irish accent shone through Anti’s fabricated American one, he was pissed. “If Hel wasn’t watching your ass you’d be a dead son of a bitch.”

“But it looked cool Anti! I yelled ‘Bon Voyage, bitch’ and then jumped. That’s a fucking golden moment.” Anti wanted to be mad at Phase, he really did, but the guy was basically a giant toddler.

“Yeah big guy it looked cool. Just be careful. I don’t want to scrape flattened bits of Phase of the pavement, okay? Plus how would me and Singe explain it too Phil?” Anti cocked an eyebrow at Phase.

“Ok, ok. I’ll be slightly more careful next time.” Phase fake saluted Anti.

“Atta-boy. We still on for dinner?” 

“You bet. Just bring a side dish that isn’t a salad, for the love of god.” Phase was genuinely concerned when Anti just laughed.

“See you at 8.”

“Tell Singe I say hello!” The two villains parted ways and Phase headed back to Hel’s inconspicuous ice cream truck.

=================================================================

Dan made it home an hour before Signe and Jack were supposed to show up.

Phil made it home 30 minutes before them, a new late record for the raven haired man.

“Precinct has you working late.” Dan handed his fiance a glass of white wine.

“No, I’m on the Phase task-force. He’s not a villain, just a nuisance.” Phil drank the entire glass in 3 seconds flat. It fucking hurts to be thrown out of building by a bomb, what a surprise.

“I think he’s a villain. He is a bit of a dick.” Narcissism was never a good look on Dan.

“Yeah, and I beat he’s only got a bit of a dick.” Ouch, that was hurtful. He may be a bottom but his dick isn’t that small, is it?

“Phil, you’re the nice one!” Dan swatted his shoulder as the doorbell rang.

“JACKIE MY BABY!” Dan pushed off the counter and ran to the door throwing his arms around the small Irish man. Jack laughed and hugged him back.

“Phil come get your noodle of a fiance off of my boyfriend please.” Signe sighed and waved her hand teasingly at the two.

“Dan, release.” Dan growled and dragged Jack to the living room.

“It’s mine.” Dan held Jack in a choke-hold.

“Dan release my boyfriend. He was busy saving asses all day.” Signe squinted at him Dan winced, it was directed at Phase and his inability to not jump out of windows.

“My apologies, Doctor McLoughlin.” Jack smacked Dan on the chest after he let him out of the choke-hold.

“Fucking asshole.” Jack mumbled as he dusted off his jumper.

“You love me Jackie.” Dan exaggerate his smile and batted his eyelashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Signe's villain name is Singe.
> 
> I'm creative I promise.
> 
> Louise's villain name is Hel.


	3. Blade Vs. Phil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> really short. i'm sorry. i had a longer idea but i also have a job. i got bit today at work and it hurts to type so here ya are lovelies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment what you want to see!!
> 
> if you want to chat please message me on instagram @kindlyqueer

Being blasted by a bomb hurts like a bitch. Blade was thankful in that moment for his metal abilities, that glass would’ve hurt more if it actually broke skin instead of bouncing off. Phase is a downright fucking nuisance, especially with the added help of Anti and Singe. The less insane Harley Quinn and Joker, respectively. Last time Blade met her acquaintance she scorched him and made him smell like burnt popcorn for a week. Thankfully this time all Blade had to deal with was a bomb and Phase’s immaturity, he sometimes reminded Phil of his fiance. The comm in his ear crackled to life.

“Oi, Blade, you need to get the hell out of dodge. That whole wing is about to fucking collapse and while you’re made of metal you’re not indestructible and a collapse this size can kill you.”

“Copy that. Window or roof?” 

“Window, Planet will catch you.”

“Tell me when.” Blade began walking backwards away from the window.

“Alright, go!” Chris shouted into the comm.

Blade ran at the window and jumped, landing on one of Planet’s clouds. He jumped his way to the bottom and landed on Planet.

“So much space and yet you still manage to end up on top of me?” Planet had caught Blade bridal style and was smiling at the flashing cameras.

“Oh put me down you giant oaf.” Blade wiggled in the curly haired man’s arms, trying to get down.

“Magic words?” Planet batted his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip.

“Piss off.” Blade rolled his eyes and went to bite his arm.

“Close enough.” Planet dumped him on the floor.

“Ouch. You’re an ass.”

“You are what you eat.”

“You’re disgusting.” 

=================================================================

Jack and Signe were borderline the cutest couple. Dan and Jack got along great, both weird little gremlins. Somehow the hot ones are always insane. The two were conversing on the couch while Phil and Signe finished dinner.

“So Phil, what’s your opinion on that super villain, Singe?” Narcissism was a good look on Signe.

“I mean she burnt a whole building down.” Phil a shrugged and stirred the pot of soup.

“What about Anti?” She cocked an eyebrow.

“Bit of a prick.”

“You're not wrong.” Signe winked at Jack when he stuck his tongue out at her. “All he does is fly drones and save Phase’s ass.” Signe grinned at Dan and Jack over Phil’s turned shoulder. 

“I think he’s Phase’s sidekick.” Signe had a point, Anti constantly bailed Phase out of situations. Dan elbowed Jack in the ribs when he opened his mouth to protest.

“Yeah, I agree. He is just a sidekick.” Dan laughed.

“Last time I save your lame ass, Phase.” Jack mumbled as he shrunk into the couch.

“Hush minion.”

==================================

The dinner when swimmingly. Jack and Dan had a little too much wine and were trying to see if Jack could fit in the cupboard. (only his left leg couldn't fit.) Thankfully Signe dragged his drunk ass home and Phil only had to deal with one over sized toddler. 

“I love you, Phil.” Dan said slightly slurred.

“I love you too big guy.” Phil patted his chest and tucked him into bed.

“You have a nice dick.” Dan mumbled before passing out on the pillow. 

“I almost regret proposing.”

==================================

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boo bye lovelies 
> 
> six, out!

**Author's Note:**

> comment your opinions on it.
> 
> i am so happy with this.
> 
> six, out!
> 
> Buh-Bye!


End file.
